So…. I did a thing. And this thing that I did is something I have never been a huge fan of. This thing that I did is…cue the dramatic pause…get into a long distance relationship (or as the kids are calling it: LDR). And you know what? It’s not bad at all.
I’ve always heard stories of long distance relationships not working well, partners growing jealous or suspicious of each other, or worse, cheating. Sure, shit happens and sometimes things don’t always go according to plan, but it’s important to keep a level head if you want to make things work.
My fear of LDR’s stemmed from the sole fact of not physically being with someone. One of my love languages is physical touch, so not having that integral piece of the relationship 100% of the time was a big turn off for me. Ah, but you see, I was literally swept off my feet, and my feet swinging freely in the air brought me more happiness than I could’ve imagined. So, I said, f*ck it. I like you a lot, and I don’t want to miss out on what could have been. Let’s give it a shot.
Now, I’m not some relationship guru or love expert, but being in a LDR has taught me a lot about myself, as well as my partner. The very first thing we did before we had to separate was establish some sort of foundation. We laid out our goals, visions for the future, and what we wanted from each other in the relationship.
The most obviously important component of any relationship is communication. Not just talking about random things and sharing how your day went, I mean wide open communication. Get reaaaallll deep. How do you feel about one another? What about them makes you happy? How you are feeling about the relationship each day?
I prefer to have phone calls and FaceTime sessions more than exchanging text messages. Hearing my boyfriend’s voice makes me feel closer to him, and it makes me feel like he isn’t as far away as he actually is. I’m not gonna lie, though, there have been moments where this LDR thing has been pretty shitty. There have been times where all I want is a freakin’ hug, but I can’t get one. I just have to remember to be patient until I get to see my partner again, and work with him to get through what I am feeling in that moment.
Any sliver of doubt, insecurity, or concern that comes across your mind should be addressed immediately. Don’t hold in any sort of thoughts that could negatively impact the relationship. It’s hard already being away from your special someone, but being away from them while you’re way too deep in your head can lead to a lot more trouble than you’d like.
This isn’t the part where I send you off to fall in love with someone in Australia and get into a long distance relationship. If you’re in one already, or some life event is leading you to that decision, don’t cross the idea off just yet. You can grow a lot closer as a couple than you’d think when you’re going through a challenge together. Plus, at some point down the road, you will be physically together again, so just hold tight! You’ll be happier that you were vulnerable and open to the possibilities of love than have done nothing at all.
photo by Laur Fernandez Photography